for parents
Stress
People tend to assume they are stressed when everything has got too much, but often this isn't the case. You could call it the straw that breaks the camel's back, but likely as not there's one niggling thing that you can't or won't deal with, and it's turned straightforward tiredness into stress.
- Identify what is causing stressed feelings.
- Share your thoughts with your partner or your doctor.
- Draw up a realistic plan of action, and review each week how well you are dealing with it.
Wear and tear
You may not be able to deal with deep-seated worries, and find yourself flying off the handle and feeling overwhelmed by everyday clutter, family responsibilities or just when little things go wrong.
Being stressed makes it difficult to deal with the everyday, normal wear and tear of family life. Try not to be sidelined into bothering about trivial problems if something serious is the real issue.
You may find the following stress-busters helpful:
- Practise clearing your mind. Many of us continue to worry and only have half a mind on listening to our kids or partners.
- We often overload, trying to complete two or more tasks at once. Recognise that you cannot do everything. Prioritise and concentrate on doing one thing.
- Learn some simple stretches for points of tension such as shoulders and neck.
- Spend five minutes breathing slowly from the abdomen, with a straight back, dropped shoulders and in a quiet, empty room.
- You may be ill. Make an appointment with your GP.
Time for yourself
Sheila Munro of Parent Network explains, "If you've had a foul day and you scream at the kids or your partner, that's dumping. It's much better to tell your family you're feeling bad and need a few minutes to yourself."
Putting the children's needs first is something we do from habit and because you can't always ignore children's demands. But attending to your child when they could wait, or constantly predicting what they will find entertaining while forgetting your own tastes is just not on.
Sheila Munro notes that this does not necessarily benefit children because they will not learn to respect others' needs: "You need to recharge your batteries and look after yourself, by finding something you like doing. Even if it's one evening a week, it will boost your self-esteem and cut the stress."
Space for yourself
Suzannah Olivier, author of 500 Stress-busting Tips, says, "Visual noise is created by clutter, which can be stressful and deplete your mental energy."
She suggests:
- getting rid of 'clutter magnets' such as window ledges and counter tops by using magazine racks, boxes and folders to keep the paperwork you really need.
- throwing out kitchen tools and equipment you haven't used for years.
- getting rid of outdated packets of food and anything you hardly use.
- packing dust-attracting odds and ends into boxes for the loft, or for the charity shop.
- choosing one room – the bathroom or your bedroom – that you can keep truly clutter-free, and where you can sit in tranquillity for a few moments.
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